Thursday, October 26, 2006

hello public

guess how many more days to my birthday?

2!!! its this saturday damnit!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

and i'm gonna be spending it with so many men. Yippie!!! we're gonna have an orgy!!! i'm gonna strip naked in the middle of the jungle and have a fuckfest with those gigantic moquitoes and get sucked off by the random leeches.

oh what joy. i'm ejaculating with enthusiasm. somebody please restrain me before i bounce off with excitement.

*roll eyes*

the only thing i'm excited about is what to wear to the airport later. i'm deciding on a light grey polo tee paired with dark grey slacks. but dont you think its way too gray? hmm. anyway, i dont have shoes to match!!! aargh! dilemmas dilemmas!!

oh, if you didnt know, i'm leaving for brunei tonight.


back to updates....

me and miss mabel(andrew's gf) has been text messaging each other for the past 2 weeks. and no, we're not having an affair.

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she's been planning a hush hush suprise birthday party for her boyfriend, andrew, and she contacted me to gather his ns buddies for the event. it was difficult enough trying to get people's confirmation on whether they can make it on my side, so you can guess how hard it must have been for her to organise the entire suprise party.

kudos to mrs mabel chng!!! andrew, you better treasure this girl cause obviously she treasures you a lot. invite me to the wedding k!!!

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the party was really nice and the food was yummy!

we left ard 9pm where me and wilson decided to hitch a ride from weisheng who's passing by town. the only problem was that weisheng didnt know how to drive to town all the way from east coast(andrew's house). what made it more worst was that he had two dummies in the car who didint know how to read a map. hahaha!!! so we ended driving around getting lost for what seemed like slightly more than an hour. it was actually quite fun!

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we didnt know how to read the map so we took a photo instead. lol!

oh yeah, earlier in the day when i was waiting for wilson who was late for almost an hour to shop for andrew's present, i finally decided to get that Red Be Delicious fragrance from DKNY. yay!!! finally i smell like an apple. yummy!

dont bite me please.

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over the long weekend i've been busy helping mummy to bake cookies for hari raya. and its really quite fun. i bake then i eat. bake and eat and bake and eat. i'm getting a carbo and sugar overdose. i'm gonna grow really really fat and explode!

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i made this all by myself: m&ms oatmeal cookies. yummy!

well, decided to take a break from the flour and butter and also give my overworked oven a rest. so on monday, i met up with liat and we toured the ultrahyped vivocity. and boy was the place big. it reminded me of shopping centres in malaysia where they had too much land space on hand and didnt know what to do with it so they just made the walkways wider.

well, vivocity to me is just another ngee ann city. a typical shopping centre with all the usual things to expect. but then its not fully opened yet cause its official opening is on december 1st. so thats why there are still shops unopened.

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thats its then for this round.

just wanna wish all the Muslims, Selamat Hari Raya!

and the Hindus, Happy Deepavali!

i wont be blogging for the next 3 weeks cause i'll be off to Brunei tonight for my National Safari training. its really a mix of feelings. on one hand, i'm excited cause i've never been to Brunei yet on the other hand i'm sad that i'm gonna be gone for 3 weeks and i'm gonna miss everyone especially my mum.

thank you to everyone for their well wishes. i really appreciate them!

well then, till 3 weeks later...


Wednesday, October 25, 2006

hello public

sorry bout the lack of updates over the long weekend. you must have died of boredom with nothing new to read from my blog dont you?

its shocking to see the rise in viewership over the weekend. apparently, there are people who read my blog. hurrah to that! according to my site counter, my blog has been visited over 50 times over the weekend. whooopie!! although there were no new hugs received by my hug machine (which is on the right column if you didnt know) nor any new messages in my tagboard (which is also on the right column). you guys must be like introverted people of something. but whatever it is, Ali Joe is happy to have you here!

spread the joy of realitee for me to clinch world domination! wahahahaha!!

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First stop on world domination: Singapore!!!

i'm beyond retard, somebody slap me please. *roll eyes*

since there has been a reasonable rise in demand, i'll provide the much sorted after supply.

let me introduce you to a good friend of mine, sheryl. i think she looks better in the when photographed without flash.

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oh dont you agree?

anyways, i met up with my favouritest girls in the planet for dinner at city hall.

we decided upon a place called Changing Appetite in Marina Square for dinner. you know how these magazines and food critics gives rating to places based on food, service and ambience. well, i'm gonna rate this place a 3/10.

1 point for ambience.
another 1 point because i was seated next to a mirror so i can keep checking myself out.
and a final 1 point for effort.

3 points upon 10 is all that they deserve. the food was pathetic and blasphemous. the service was lousy and slower than a sloth on subutex overdose. ridiculous i tell you!

i ordered sirloin steak and what arrived that seems like 20 lightyears later, tasted like car tyres served with a side of plastic roses and baby vomit. which were supposed to be steak, brocoli and mashed potatoes.


i definitely wont be the first in line to apply for their loyalty card if they had one.

talking about loyalty cards, i've recently gotten membership for The Body Shop's. i get 10% off everything and other perquisites. so if any of you wanna buy stuff there, holler at me.

well then,

after dinner, i braved through the kalimantan smog for a camwhoring session at the Esplanade roof terrace. i swear i'm gonna get lung cancer just by staying outdoors. but then, a true camwhore does not whine when doing what he loves most.

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since i was already breathing in more smoke than a malboro addict, what the heck, keep the flashes coming! anyway, it did start to feel like Genting. hahaha!

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anyone out there interested to be a camwhore?

all it takes is a little narcissism and a very thick skin. and i have excess of both!

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mommy, i'm in Genting!!!

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work the camera darlings!

hahaha!!! okok!! thats it for now... i got more foto's of course but i'll update bout them later.


Sunday, October 22, 2006

hello public

let me tell you a little metaphor...

once there was this poor boy who fell in love with a Gucci wallet. but deep down he knew he could not own it as the wallet already belonged to someone else. the boy wasnt rich enough to get the gucci wallet from the person and stealing the wallet was definitely not an option. the boy also felt that such a luxurious and priceless wallet wouldnt be fit to be with a pauper like him. therefore, after seeing how the Gucci wallet that belonged to the other person fits perfectly in her Prada bag. he decided that its better that way. if he cant own the gucci wallet, he takes comfort in knowing that the other person is there happily with the wallet by her side. at least the Gucci wallet belonged to someone who appreciated it. and so he lets out a huge sigh and tells himself, "life goes on''.


i have a million and one fotos to blog about but i cant seem to find the time. or was that just an excuse?

i am pms-ing again and i'm trying really hard to keep it to myself. its been a week and my mood is going deeper and down into the slumps.

no mood to blog. sorry.


where are you now when i need you? again all these promises were merely passing clouds, nothing but air. i no longer care.

so emo. bleah.


Thursday, October 19, 2006

hello public

my one week break has begun and boy is my schedule tighter than a virgin's pussy. my flight is scheduled for next week's thursday evening. i'm not mentioning further details of my flight in case there'll be hordes of fans and supporters there armed with banners and their autograph book upon my departure.

it'll be my first trip to brunei and i dont have anything to wear. dress code for the evening is smart casual. meaning a polo tee and slacks. i've already settled with my ralph lauren hand lugage bag, now i need a nice pair of loafers to match from pedro, a tone on tone polo tee from lacoste or probably zara and a slick pair of slacks from guess or massimo dutti. i did see some lovely toiletries from marks&spencers that i could bring along as well.

i definitely need to pencil in some shopping time for my trip. but when?

thurs19oct: out with someone
fri20oct: out with sheryl, jf and cecilia
sat21oct: out with ns friends
sun22oct: hari raya shopping with parents
mon23oct: spring cleaning and preps for hari raya
tues24oct: hari raya!!!
wed25oct: out with someone and packing for brunei
thurs26oct: departure.

see! where got slots to pencil or pen so many other things in. but you can always try your luck if you wanna ask me out during this week before i make my public dissapearance act for the following 3 weeks. dont worry, i'll try my best to pencil you in. =)

oh yeah, i've been intending to get an mp4 player. something that can store song, pictures and videos. so which one is better? ipod or creative?

for now, i leave you with an interview with my overexaggerated online persona, Alvin Hilton.

1) Single, Taken, or Crushin?
Alvin Hilton: my heart belongs to vera wang. and paris hilton on weekends.

2) Are you happy with who you are?
definitely not. i'd love a nose job, a chin reconstruction and penile enlargement.

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
not unless i'm wearing ultra high heels and had my g string is flossing my ass. but then, yoga has definitely help me maintain my balance so that i wont fall too easily.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
of course. no amount of uhu glue could stick it back together. and so i came up with a verse for my song..

i came in here
broken hearted
wanted to shit
but i only farted

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is acceptable?
of course it is. sometimes you have to do the not so right things to make things better. its like white lies. if you see a girl looking sad, just go up to her and tell her how pretty she is no matter how jia lat her face looks. if it makes their day, lie.

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
nope. once bitten, twice shy. once sucked, twice dry. if they could cheat on you once, they'll do it again. not worth it.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another?
yes. and it has freaked out the another. but it was just simple daydreaming.

8) Do you want children?
not at all. i hate kids. they make so much noise, dirty the place and takes up too much of my time.

9) How many?
negative 5.

10) Would you consider adoption?
i'd love to adopt a 17yr old blonde and have incest.

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think a cool way to let you know would be?
dont tell me. keep it to yourself unless you crave rejection.

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
oh but i am impossible to get.

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?
what game? if you're talking about the human iGallop then yeah we do.

14) Do you believe in love at first sight?
thats only pure lust. you love the person for who he or she is inside not outside. but of course appearance do matter. if you look like a cow also how to develop love over time.

15) Are you romantic?
extremely sugar coated when i choose to be. diabetics be warned, i'm potent.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
a person's behaviour comes from his attitude which comes from his values which are derived from his belief system. so to change someone is to steer their belief.

17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object, where would it be?
singapore. cause all my frens and families are here.

18) Do you easily give in when you are fighting?
i'm quite a stubborn person but i know my limits and when to compromise.

19) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
definitely. paris hilton.

20) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you messed it up?
yeah paris. we could have made that vieo more interative for the viewers.

21) Have you ever broken a heart?
the only heart i've broken is probably a figurine.

22) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other?
with my life so help me god.

thats it. i love ya.


Sunday, October 15, 2006

hello public

everybody, i have an announcement.

hear ye!! hear ye!!

i'm having a 1 week break from camp as of 19Oct to 26Oct.

you're all invited to ask me out!!!




its like 3 more days till my vacation arrives. i've been looking forward to this since i found out about it the day i enlisted to this unit. although i've been in guards camp for slightly more than 4 weeks, it has felt like eternity. essenced and bottled like a calvin klein's, my only solace was my weekends. for after every storm, there comes a rainbow, likewise, for after every week of torture, there comes a weekend.

some might think i've gotten used to the culture and a few might even dare to think i enjoy it. but truth be told, i dont. i live each day counting down till when it'll end. since i'm already there, i might as well adapt. i dont want to sprout negativity because it will only bring me and the people around me down.

surround yourself with positive energy and you shall be well.


this weekends were quite packed. had a meet up with a close fren on friday which lusted, i mean, lasted till really late.

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on saturday, i met up with my polymates, maddie, yasi, angela, huiming, kathleen and her bf. we walked around plaza singapura and shopped.

left later in the evening to meet up with sharif. he needed to get some clothes and your truly, readily provided his fashion consultancy. i should seriously consider making this a career option i tell you. settled with a gorgeous marc ecko autumn top paired with a tommy hilfiger's denim bottom.

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from city hall we went to bugis. bought 3CDs. shakira's, coldplay's and jeniffer lopez's. haha. i have an addiction to CDs. i need to get a new CD rack cause there's not enough space for like 40 other CDs. hahaha. so they're all just lying on my table. tsk tsk. i need to do some spring cleaning during my 1 week break. especially with Hari Raya being around the corner.

i've been wanting to paint my room but then i'm sooooooooooooooooo lazy. i'm getting tired of looking at my light yellow-green walls. i need a pastel hue or probably a something dark and solid. but daddy says that dark colors will make my room look smaller and darker. but thats okay, i dont need my room to be bright. the only stuff i do in my room is sleep, use my computer and other personal stuff. dark might be really nice. anyone knows where they sell wallpapers? looks cool eh.

i know!! i know!!! i wanna go ikea!!!! anyone?

well thats it then for this weekend's entry. dont forget to ask me out k!!

ps: a shoutout to my white chocolate twin brother, Zen who shares the same birthday as me and shares the same fate of spending our actual birthday in a forest.
i'll let u bite my chocolate bar if you let me bite yours. and you dont even have to pay $1.40. =P

ps: my birthday is 28 Oct if you didnt know.

muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeaah!! just leave it to ali to keep things subtle.

*roll eyes*


Sunday, October 08, 2006

hello public

i've found myself a theme song according to sharif(previously known as Barney). its called Turn You On by Paris Hilton. give it a listen aight.

a little sample of the lyrics if you're wondering why.

''Everybody's looking at me
But it's alright I like attention
The clubs not hot until I walk through
They stop and stare and watch me move

Like damn I like that
I'm sexy and you know it
Clap your hands

Girls and boys are looking at me
I can't blame them 'cause I'm sexy
Don't care who's watching me
I do just what I want''

hahaha. whatever.

a little update bout my life this week.

there's nothing much to talk about regarding life in National Safari. yeah sure there's a lot of shit thats been happening but i dont wanna think about them. its over and done and thank god i'm still alive. sometimes i underestimate myself and i'm definitely suprised at the feat i can accomplish.

now lets move on to the weekends which are like the only thing i've been looking forward to lately.

had an early release from camp this week due to our good performance in this overly strenuous week. our officer was happy and let us off on a late thursday night instead of a friday's.

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too tired to go out on thursday night so i slept my way through till the next day's afternoon. met up with my fag hags, namely, sheryl, jiafang and cecilia that evening for a litlle get together. we planned to watch 'john tucker must die', a show that i've been yearning to catch. checked online and there was an 845pm show for cineleisure. but when we reached the booking booth, there wasnt a slot for an 845 show. instead the next slot would have been a 1045pm one. and that was definitely way past my bedtime.

so we erased the idea of watching that movie and decided that once the vcd comes out, we'd go to sheryl's house and watch it.

anyways, so we had to reshuffle plans. decided instead to have dinner to celebrate these girls' birthday which spans out a few weeks back. our schedules kept clashing and it made it impossible to celebrate the birthdays individually. so we had a collective one.

i suggested The Ship (yes, again!) and we braved the highly polluted hazy atmosphere to get there. the food was good and the company was great. i managed to suprise the girls with a little present for their birthday. it was a simple collage of fotos of us together.

i'm quite a sweet & romantic guy you know. its just that you dont know it. muahahahaha!!!

note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY girls!!! i love you guys cause you make me happy and make me laugh so much till i snort out laksa from my nose. >.<'''!!! note: happy mid autumn festival!!! *** Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

the next day(saturday), decided to meet up with sharif (barney) for a little retail therapy. i saw a gorgeous black knit cardigan from Garcon in Heeren. and most of my friends know that i'm been yearning for the perfect cardigan since forever. i've been yearning for it more than sex. and now that i've chanced upon the perfect one that fits me to a T, i straight away whip out my Master. ka-ching!!

while strutting down heeren, i met a good secondary school fren of mine, Darius Drew. omigosh!!! its been so long!! had a little nice chat with him and exchanged contacts. i suggested a foto together and told him to check out later my blog for it.

and so i said, "check out my blog for the foto k. do you know whats my webpage?''

and then he said, '' of course i do! who doesnt?! its''

weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! you dont know how much those words made my day. hahaha!!! spread the joy of realitee guys!!! make me a happy boy!

anyways, so i continued with my shopping and bought myself a gorgeous minty green v-neck. loves it.

had a sushi buffet where i gorge on so much that i feel so bloated. but damn was it goooood!


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had a gathering that night with my bunkmates of tekong. andrew did this really cool movie of our life in tekong. this is what happens when you have too much time on your hands. damn, i would sell myself on ebay to be in his position. as in his unit vocation not some other kind of positions.

''i have a mission. does that make me a missionary? then, lets do it my style.''


so we chatted and caught up with each other's new unit life. it was a nice gathering.

and it was gim kiat birthday!!! so we bought him a tiramisu cake. hahaha.

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of course there were other stuff happenning during this long weekend of mine but then, my personal life is private.


thats it for this time round. everyone lets come together and pray that the haze goes away. its giving me a really bad sore throat and i sense a pimple coming.


to all my readers, dont forget to leave comments or just say hi to me in my tagboard. also, be nice and gimme hugs on my hug machine if you really like me and like what you read.

dont forget to spread the joy of REALITEE. tell all your friends!!!!

i love ya and appreciate ya.


Sunday, October 01, 2006

hello public

sometimes even though u've got things to say, you rather choose to be quiet. thats my mood right now. things hasnt been working out well for me lately. i dont feel like talking about it. nor do i feel like blogging.

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so, thank you. come again next weekend.