Thursday, February 28, 2008

hello public

finally the video to the much anticipated latest single of Mariah Carey, Touch My Body is finally out.

i am so infatuated with this song that its been on repeat on my computer. i'm not really a big fan of the video but boy does mariah looks H.O.T. in it!!


weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


album, E=MC2 out april 15.


xoxo-alijoe

Sunday, February 24, 2008

hello public

most of my friends should know about love affair with food. as i'm typing this entry right now, my spoon is dug deep into the tub of ben & jerrys strawberry cheesecake ice cream sitting next to me.

but sometimes my guilty conscience does pop up to haunt me. so i'll make myself feel better by forgoing the whipped cream on my venti green tea frap.

see, destitute sacrifices that i have to make just to maintain my voluptuous (in all the wrong places) figure.

one thing that i can never get sick of though is Subway. i can like totally eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.



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"6 inch honey oat, turkey breast with cheese, toasted, lettuce, tomatoes and olives, with sweet onion and honey mustard with a little sprinkle of black pepper. cut into 4 pieces."

perfecto.



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i heart Subway.



another of my guilty pleasures is shopping at the food department of marks & spencer. i can just linger at the food department for hours drooling over everything. going thru every single packets of cookies and chocolates and imagining how great it would taste in my mouth.

i know. i'm kinda psycho.

this one time at marks & spencer, that i went out of control and my bill came up to almost $90. shocked as i was as i produced out my visa, i couldnt stop grinning at the thought of eating all those yummy goodies later.



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one thing i really love is their triple chocolate crunch cereal. the first time i brought a spoonful of it into my mouth at breakfast, i swore that i would never return back to nestle. now, every sunday mornings as i watch cartoons, triple chocolate crunch is my best friend.



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their chocolate coated digestive is also to die for. it taste like kit kat that was made in heaven.


mmm, time for a raspberry puff break.



***************


a received a major shocking news 2 of days before valentines day. sheryl message me saying that jiafang was pregnant!!! i was like WTF!!!. i know she and her bf has been together for quite a while but hasnt he heard of a condom or even the withdrawal method. they're like way too young to have a baby.

this gang of girls always thought that i'd be the first one to get married and have kids. yes, me, the commitment phobic. but now see, jiafang's pregnant instead.

so sheryl told me that they wanted to conference call that night. so there i was on the weekday, sitting in my bunk watching this magic show on channel 5. you know those magic tricks where u put your finger on the screen and they try to figure the card u pick.

yeah, i was in the midst of it when i received a phonecall from the guardhouse, saying that 2 guys were looking for me at the entrance of my camp. i thought it was just my bunkmates whom i asked to help me buy 8 days.

but when i reach the gates, guess who i saw?!?!



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two guys my ass. jiafang didnt look pregnant at all, her stomach was like flatter than a sony plasma. these girls cheated my feelings and to think the guardhouse people played along. righteous soldiers my ass. everyone lied to me and for what?!?!

for a valentines day suprise!!!!!


i am so happy la for the suprise but you guys are like so going to hell. this is not the first time you all cheated me okay.



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as they started to whip out their digicams, i was like thinking wth!!!, my hair's not done, i didnt have any moisturiser and i'm only dressed in my admin tshirt, shorts and sandals.

but nevertheless, i accompanied them for supper at the food court nearby my camp.



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and i thought that valentines this year was gonna bad. thank god for this glimmer of hope.

we chatted and they showed me pictures of wad they did in the day.



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make a guess who they love?

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they love ME!!!!


and since i wasnt at the beach that day with them..



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they drew a footprint to represent me.



okay, altogether now,


AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!



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i love my TLLM gang!!



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me with my valentines day presents.



oh what i a damn lucky man i am.

=D




*************



alright, i hope your valentines was a good one. i'm not into this whole valentines day shit as i feel that its all just another marketing ploy. a day where boyfriends are forced to pay 5 times the original price for flowers just to prove to affection for the one they love. valentines day is not just a day for lovers but also a day for people you love, like your friends and family. and even though i hate the whole shit where businesses take advantage of this meaningful occasion, i'm glad that such a day exist. because humans are forgetful creatures, and we need reminders like this to remember to always cherish the people we love.


till my next entry. y'all take care.


xoxo-alijoe

Sunday, February 17, 2008

hello public

do you like the new look i've given to the blog. i wanted something clean, simple and easy to navigate, so TADAH!


now, like giving my blog a makeover , change can be either a good thing or a bad. it all depends on you. you decide on what you want to experience.

''change is inevitable but the outcome depends on you"

LOL! i never knew i could be so philosophical. well well, this military ken doll with heavy blonde extensions isnt all just about jimmy choos.

anyways, what i am blabbering about does have intention.



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i wanna wish bon vovage, take care and all the best to my friend, Xian Hui who's leaving for australia to study for some animal doctor degree. i hope you have fun and learn lots from the whole 5 yrs there.



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thats not his gf btw. lol!!



i'll miss you man!! take good care of yourself. and for god's sake do have some fun while you're there!!







to everyone else, take care.



xoxo-alijoe

Saturday, February 16, 2008

hello public


after ransacking my entire room , i finally found the wire thingy that transfers pictures from my nokia to the computer. and now, i've got like random old pictures since christmas lying around. so i'm just gonna compile most and pass it off as an entry.

my entries are getting just a little bit backdated so i need to post all the 'too-old-it-moulds' fotos pronto. here goes.


ever since i came back from thailand, it was all busy busy with cramming all the Christmas sales and end of year sales and also meet ups with frens.



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i know these two pictures look kinda the same. its not my fault that i have only one look on my face. anyway, this was with kenneth where we decided to hit town to check out the christmas lights. this year's decor was not bad. they used The Nutcracker as the theme.

how can anybody come up with a christmas story call 'The Nutcracker' anyway. it just sounds bad. sounds like a psychotic killer who smashes testicles as a hobby.


then came the following day where i had to attend wei liat's 21st birthday at costa sands. and guess what? i got fucking lost.

does anybody even know that there's 2 kinds of costa sands.

one is the bright and cheery one near the wild wild wet which i had to pay $1 to get in to. and i didnt have coins. there were machine there though that changed notes into coins and lucky for me the smallest note i had was a $10. so there i was making my way to barbeque area with nine $1 coins jiggling in my pocket.

and guess what, it was the wrong costa sands. BLOODY HELL!

so after calling wei liat and him giving us step by step directions to the other costa sands, i finally made it pass the 'ulu' park into the other costa sands.



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the parents were really nice and all making sure we had more than enough food to eat. and so i passed him the present and we had to go off cause i dint wanna miss the last bus. but the thought of the 1hr journey home just made me went to the roadside and flip my hand out and shout TAXI!!



and then the next day, told you it was busy busy, had a luncheon with the tekong mates over at new york new york at citylink.



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it so hard to actually conduct a meet up with everyone being free. but its not the size of the crowd, its the company you're with that matters. so we (nicholas, andrew, me & wilson) just updated each other regarding our current life as we countdown to our ORD. which is like ard 3 mths away!!!!


and a couple of days before we usher in 2008. i met up with the TLLM gang minus cecilia, cause she had to work.


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so who do you think wins 'act cute' of the year award?

and if you think this is bad, wait till you see this...
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camwhorism. have you converted?



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i love the paragon christmas tree the most. it was draped in pearls and all-white ornaments. very glamour chic. and have you guys notice, taka have the same christmas tree with the same decor, year in and out. its like they manage to find a warehouse somewhere where they slot this chritmas tree for 11months and just slide it back into place during december.



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if only the cows received $1 for every person who sits on it for a picture. we actually had to wait in line to look like retards sitting on a milk carton mascot.



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so this is how it felt to be in between someone's groin.



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we kept prompting every other passerbys to take a foto for us just because we preferred group shots. the word shame has just vanished from pages of my oxford dictionary.



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dear santa, all i want for christmas is Gucci.



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and if i cant get it, i'll just rob Prada.



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and we'll run away with all the crocodile skin tote bags and along the way, look out for cops just in case.



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i think christmas has become just an overly commercialise festivity. but we're loving it still cause of all the discounts and sales!! and free gift wrap!!!!



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so on our way back, i came across this huge ass pic of god knows who at the underpass of Tangs. and the girls thought that it would be fun to take a foto there. and so i stood in front of the maddening crowd rushing for the last train while they took a foto of me touching his sexy nipples. LOL!



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and here i am trying to poke jay chou's eye and nose. i dont see wad's the appeal of an average looking guy who mumbles.



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but thats alright. make love not war. so lemme give jay a kiss. jiafang's obviously not into this guy on guy action.



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sometimes, all we want is just our privacy. we're actually shy people at heart. *coughs*


and so to clear the rumours, we issued a statement.

"all allegations saying that we had stolen the canvas monogram messenger bags from prada were not true. canvas is so beneath us. we'd never be caught in palais renaissance carrying those canvas bags made for the middle income. we only carry crocodile, snakeskin, leather, or ostrich skin.


and regarding the fotos circulating wildly on the net. all 47 fotos of me engaging in fellatio (oral sex) are fake. the short, pink tip uncut phallus does not belong to me. and the one seen gingerly nibling on it is not my friend here(jiafang). she(jiafang) does not go by the moniker. Bobo. and who the fuck names their children Bobo anyway.


i apologise for any hurt caused towards the people affected. and as an apology i hearby present gillian and cecilia with gift vouchers to The Brazillian Wax Shop and a battery operated shaver for when those nasty bushes make a comeback''


and as the world awaits the much anticipated video and more picture leaks, here i am ending this entry by welcoming the new year with a birthday cake for my dad who is a new year baby.



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my dad isnt a fan of those overly creamy cakes, so i got him a nice traditional pandan kaya cake from begawan solo. still yummy but the cake could do away with the tacky pink roses.

and for god sake, isnt it time somebody invented nicer looking candles.


***

okay. thats it then. till my next entry. y'all take care and spread the joy of www.realitee.blogspot.com to all your frens!!!!


x0x0-alijoe

Saturday, February 09, 2008

hello public


Why Local Fashion Suck

&

Thailand Trip




so i was home yesterday in time to catch Fashion Rocks 2007 on channel 5. a little info on fashion rocks. its like a charity ball for the really 'atas' people where they intertwine fashion with music. and most of you should know how much i j'adore fashion. i can tell frida giannini, john galliano and karl lagerfeld apart more than i can the difference between zidane and ronaldhino. yes yes, i know i'm not your typical guy who only wears football jerseys, soccer shoes or has a PSP stuck to me like a siamese twin.

whatever. anyway, the show, fashion rocks, started off with a stellar runway of donatella's with beautiful dresses in spring hues. an extremely good selection versaces to start the show off. the rest of the show was good but nothing to blow me off my feet until the collection headed by a pair of my favouritest designers whose bold yet feminine dresses never fails to keep your eye glued to the runway. domenico dolce and stefano gabbana's collection was filled with everything that sparkles and those gold corsets were just spectacular. and when naomi walked for D&G the whole hall was all applause.

and to end the show was the man whose creations has mesmerised the world for half a century. mr valentino. 2 words for his collection, stunningly glamorous.


so after the whole show, i went to my room and while waiting for some pictures to be uploaded, i flipped through a copy of Juice. i love this magazine as it features mostly local talents but namely because its free. anyway, while flipping through the section on fashion, it dawned on me why most of singaporean fashion designers do not seem to make it big.

the whole lot of designs i've been seeing strewn out by our local talents are, to be polite, a bunch of crap. some dresses that i saw in straits times recently looked like china women wearing oversized potato sacks. and from the magazines, what i've been seeing is just a bunch of ridiculous haute couture wannabes whose designers deserve a tight slap on the face by anna wintour, editor-in-chief of vogue.

the problem i think with our local talents, and i'm using the word talent here with much cynicism, is that they try so very much to be arty farty and to create a certain uniqueness to their line that they steer unfortunately 9millions miles away from the most important factor, which is to make the wearer feel beautiful.

i mean i would pay and wear for something that makes me look good and not something ridiculous that was made purely for the sake of satisfying the designers inane fantasy. clothes are meant to accentuate beauty and not the other way round.

and so, if our local designers, notice i'm no longer using the word 'talents', are not able to create clothes that compliment, they can jolly well bugger off into the deep realms of fashion suicide.

and for the good lord's sake stop using the 'fashion to me is like art' excuse. you're just smearing shit on the face of leonardo davinci.

thankyouverymuch. i would like to emphasise though that i wasnt lambasting the entire local fashion industry. i still believe that there is a possible glimmer of hope. but i guess its just a glimmer and probably the torchlight needs a new change of batteries.




well then, there goes all hopes of me getting invited to any local fashion events.



anyways, remember recently my trip to thailand. well here i have the fotos, and due to security reasons no pictures regarding training will be published. what you all are about to see is the journey of a bunch of guys in foreign land.



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on the way to our plane at changi airport. thank god we're taking SIA, i can just drool looking at stewardesses.



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after the 2 hour plane journey comes the 6hour bus ride. -______-'''



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out for a pee break in the middle of the journey. can you believe that it was colder outside than it was in the air con bus. brrr... so i rushed back in to watch Lord of the rings on the bus tv where frodo was speaking in thai. bleah.



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notice how much they love me. come on and gimme a kiss. lol.



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the view. breathtaking.



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was trying to channel the late Yaseer Arafat, but it turned out more Top Model. muaahahaha! tyra will be proud. =)



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when boredom overcomes.



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the new boyband. CamoBoys.



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campfire in the middle of the 15 degrees celcius night.



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day and night.



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the last day.



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with the whole group.



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with our new custom-made polo tees.



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final night dinner. the food was good but the entertainment was just a bunch of thai girls singing thai songs with terrible unsyncronised dancing.



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went to the safari for the recreational tour. the zebras look like a pony with stripes.



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cute bunnies.



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try as you may, but no way in hell am i touching something that could gnaw hard biscuits that easily.




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then we took a 2hour bus ride to the floating market.



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was expecting like a flowing river where people sold stuff on sampans. but it looked like one of those big drains in singapore and the only thing they sold were souvenirs. the food there was nice though.



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then we went to a snake farm with a really interesting snake show. did you know snakes have 2 dicks? sadly though they cant masturbate cause they got no hands. LOL.



well, thats it for my trip to the land of smiles. overall i had quite a good time.



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korp khun mahk thailand!!!



that means thank you by the way.




alright, till next time. y'all take care. and happy chinese new year!!!




xoxo-alijoe