Saturday, March 27, 2004

MY PRAYER.. MY WISH
written by me

oh lord
help me overcome these hurdles
give me the determination and strength
for i need your guidance to see me through
the darkest of times

oh lord
for i know that all hurdles are challenges
and i know that all challenges are opportunities
and now i seek ur help not to clear all this hurdles
but to help me jump over every each one of them

oh lord
i ask of you to clear my mind of distraught
for i need the space to focus
the strategy to overcome the future hurdles
as i see they are near

oh lord
in the past, i fell trying to jump over hurdles
i've bruised and i've hurt
but the pain has enlightened me
and i try to learn from experience

oh lord
i foretell the hurdles coming again
and i fear that i will bleed again
so i call for you as i need your help
so come to my aid, come to my aid

oh lord
i ask for strength, determination, clear of mind
focus, will to move on and to carry on, health
and calm my body, spirit and soul
for i cannot do if i am distraught

oh lord
i ask of you to keep my face forever smiling
and not remove the mask that people see
for they know and prefer who they see
and not the real me

oh lord
i ask of you to cherish and love those who criticise and condemn me
for i know they obviously lack your love and blessings
and thus they are like lost sheep with no direction
as they know not wad they do to me, forgive them

oh lord
i ask of you not to repudiate of me
as i have countlessly did as such to you
for i am only human and succumb too easily to my weakness
and now i am on my knees ashamed of my sins
forgive me

oh lord
finally i ask of you to recognise my wishes
for they are leading to my dreams
and dont shatter the chances of my dreams
for i only have my dream and only my dreams

**blessed be to those who have the lord reigning in their heart**

Friday, March 26, 2004

There are too many questions
There is not one solution
There is no resurrection
There is so much confusion

And the love perfusion
You make me feel
You make me know
And the love vibration
You make me feel
You make it shine

There are too many options
There is no consolation
I have lost my illusions
What I want is an explanation

There is no comprehension
There is real isolation
There is so much destruction
What I want is a celebration

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

May all be well with mankind
May the leaders of the earth in every way
Protect the earth by keeping to the right path

May there always be goodness
For those who know the earth to be sacred
May all the world be happy

Whatever I do
Whether my body, mind, sense, organs, intellect, self
Or out of natural inclination
I make it all an offering to
The all-pervading supreme being

Peace

Sunday, March 21, 2004

hEl00000 public... okok... so today i continue about yesterday updates kkz...

so where did i stop... oh yah... thursday... so thursday is a full lecture day... sch starts at 12... so got chance to wake up a lil later cos yesterday nite got american idol till 12... jasmine rox.... lol... u noe jasmine has this whole package thing she's pretty and stuff and got a marvellous voice... okok... i am biased... but its kinda true.... she does look grea especially with that flower in her hair... hehe... fantasia and la toya cool too... that john peter lewis is kinda overdoing it... its like his deperate for votes and has to result to entertaining america rather than foreshowing his talent of voice... but the shows called american idol... not sooper voice idol... if he's entertaining maybe america dumb enough to be blinded by his antics and vote for the pen salesman.... i also have to comment on john stevens... u noe the redhead and extremely pale guy... he kinda looks like archie from archie comics... the guys are ok... nobody i kinda favor... i oni like latoya, fantasia and jasmine.... lol... anyway... sidetacking again.... thursday.... arrived for lecture a bit late... like kinda overslept... so like when i came in the lecture hall, the lecture has already begun.... stats lecture... so dont really mind... so like the seats with my cliques are all taken in the row... so i sat behind them... with this othe group of ppl that i noe but not from my class.. they're one of my classmates friends... so it was like okay... at least i knew them... ended up toking with the gal next to me... very chirpy gal... yay... anyway... it was like that until like lunch... again got 2 hr lunch... so sucky... so end up go self access centre play com.. so sianz... then got accounts lecture.... so it was like that lor... then reached home watched american idol results... oh yah... clay made an appearance... he sand solitaire... wad a boooooooring song.... but he displayed an-american-idol standard performance... cool... i really hope kimberly locke will perform.. i'll be soo happy... so in the results show, leah labelle, that russian gal with the mum with red curly hair got voted offf.... hooray... she sucked anyway... and the performance she gave was sooooooo below standard... so it was like dat....

now... friday... hmmm.. econs tutorial was cancelled for some unforseen circumstances.... lol... hooray... no need do tutorial... so it was like i have spss test later... OMG... i suck at spss lab... btw... its like a statistic thing u use computer form tables and search for frequencies and sorts... its lame... but we have to learn... to make it worse our teacher sucked at teaching... so mine was the first session at 11... so did it... first page quite ok... then second and third page i knew nuts about... so damn fucked up sia.. so like dat la... sure fail one... then after that got three hour break... so decided to study for the econs test the next day... went cafe to study but like cannot concentrate sia... so went back to library to study lor... then later went to self access centre to study instead cos library a lot of ppl... so at self access centre more worse... i end up reading the teens magazine, archie comics and cleo mags there... was supposed to go mosque but decided not too cos still fucked up bout stats... and its not good praying when u're fuccked up... lol... okok... i was lazy... shhh... then got IT class at 3.... so sianz... understand nuts bout it... feel so fucked up by microsoft access... so dry... then later at night decided to study econs but end up watching survivor... then later tired so leep lor...

saturday..... OMFG... i haven touched econs... so i started econs at 7.... got chn class at nine and econs at 10... so it like chn class like go oni one hour... very bo liao... so decided to jus study econs instead... so like flip thru and try to squeeze as much info as possible into my puny brain... aaaaargh... stressed... then came school on time... the econs test was ok except for a few questions behind... then after that met up with cd project mates to discuss... took like 1hr... my group doing body art... like tattoo, henna, piercing, nails... those kind of stuff... i was in charge of temporary tattoos... so kinda did my researched today liao... so after the meeting needed go library to return a book.... one of my friend wanted to join me... so cool... yeah.. at least not going alone... suppose jus to go for like 1-2hrs... but in the end wad was suppose to end at 2 ended at 5++... lol... had fun though... took fotos... yesterday update got my foto... took it at westmall... after that go home very tired... then i buy this magazine call manja... guess who's on the cover... SITI NURHALIZA!!!!!!! omg... she on the cover again.. fr wad like 5 times oredi... soooo happy... shee soooooo pretty... hahaha... so i bought it... yay... o happy day...

then today is a sunday... did nothing much... jus lazed around infront of the teevee... watched hindi movie at 1... sianz.... pla com.. my mom cooked mee rebus... damn nice... eat so much.. later bloat up like one big fishball again... haiz... must start on my new nvc diet... nvc = no visible carbo.... must discipline... need to lose more weight....

note to self : begin nvc diet on monday...

so that was my whole entire week... so now i'll leave u with a foto of me and my wonderful and sooper helpful fren barney.... this foto we took when we took a rollercoaster somewhere.. notice the wind blowing thru our hair... hahahaha... i look so delirious in this foto.... and barney has his cheesy smile again... lol... no offence... till next time... toodles...

Saturday, March 20, 2004



hEl000000000 public...... it that time of the week again... the time where i reflect, recap, reminisce and bitch around on the happenings of the week... so lets begin the countdown...

monday... hmm... so monday was the last free monday i have... the lesson that was supposedly to be there will commence again this coming monday... and its a presentation day... i cant wait... anyway... so monday i went out with my mommy since she too having the holidays due to the sch holidays.... so we went amk central walk walk... buy some stuff like food and home stuff... u noe la... nothing much happen though.... then at night got supermodel show.. nice...

tuesday... was tutorial day.... got accounts in the morning, stats later and IT in afternoon... did CD project during lunch.. after sch went to bugis a while cos my fren wanted to buy a mirror but after aimless searching and really tired feet... we found none.... then she finally decide jus to go for the first one she saw... oh yah... i oso bought this bag which i have been eyeing for weeks... search the entire of singapore for the bag but cant seem to find it anyway else but at bugis there.. so the puma bag cost me a whooping 49 bucks... and then like dat lor... so i went home tired... then i sat down in front of the tv and watch the entire of must see tuesday... there was this show at 10 called incredible tales... it was some true life ghost stories re-enacted... the show was so dull... it was not even scary at all... the only thing that kept me watchingn was the host... utt... lol... that was such a gay statement...

wednesday... so it was like a lecture day.. econs followed by accounts and then stats.... was quite early so went to sch to have some food first.... when i mean foood, what else can it be.... nuggets.... i m so deeply in love with the nuggets in fc6 aka the biz foodcourt... so went for lecture... amazingly i was quite attentive in class and through the lectures except for the stats lecture... he's jus too boring... so it was a quite a good sch day... afterwards i had a critical reasoning skills(CRS) class... but i didnt do the homework and the lesson a bit boring... so i decided to skip it and go out with my fren, barney... so we went to watch a movie, haunted mansion at marina square, the usual place... whoever said that haunted mansion was not worth watching is like so retarded... it was fantabulous... the show was great... enjoyed it much.... then we went play para para at the secluded arcade... had so much fun.. then got this new machine there... but it was really a new game la... it was called mocap boxing... u put on the gloves and fight the person on screen... it really cool.. but wad attracted me more that it had this column where it put how much calories u've burned playing the game... damn cool right... then play guilty gear 2... play alien invasion game thing... then like dat lor... then barney wanted to cut hair... so went to some 10 dollar shop there... the effects were that nothing look different except for maybe it looked neater... i always believed that this 10 dollars haircut for 10 minutes thingy are just a sham... it a waste of money... got the person aint got no skills and he has to work against time which of course makes it a bit of a rush.... i prefer salons though... although u have to pay a bit more... its the quality that counts... i want a nice hairstyle and enjoy cutting my hair as well.. i used to frequent peter and guys at marina... but since it closed i now patronise jean yip... they've got great hairstylist... but their service a bit slow la... but then still ok lor... if my hair looks nice... then i dont mind... anyway... so its like dat lor... then watched american idol when reached home... i have to say the finalist this season are much better than last... they've got great vocals and are quite good looking... so that was it... quite enjoy my day...

ooo... i continue the days happening another day kkz... wanna go watch tv.... till tmr... tata...

Friday, March 19, 2004

hEl0000000 public... tmr got econs test........ aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! DIE! DIE! how????????????????????? i dun understand a blooody crap bout any of the topics... need to go start studying desperately now...... till next update..... bye...
ps: wish me luck... loads of luck... i need it...

Saturday, March 13, 2004

hEl00000 public... well... it been around a week since my last real update... so let me talk bout the whole week....

monday... hmm... no sch monday... think i jus rot at home... nothing else to update for monday liao..

tuesday... tutorial day... hmm... waked up early jus to do tutorials... then go sch... accounts, stats... then go cafe slack... after that is ITAB... some sch system got failure so the quiz postpone to friday... we learning microsoft access... so damn sian..

so wednesday... lecture day... one of my favourite sch days... had lectures... accounts was ok, econs was not dat bad... but stats was a goner... the stats teacher taught us smthing that i cant even remeber anything about... maybe because i was trying to actually keep awake or my astral self was not in class... lol... after that got CRS... like half the class skipped CRS... but me being a good student didnt of course... anyway, we changed our project issue once again... then we watched some boring movie that put three quarter of the class to sleep... i was again trying to keep awake... show was called... dead poet society.... about some teenage boys who are damn enthu bout poem reading... bleah... went cafe after CRS to slack again...

thurday... no sch... but still have to go school.. it was a School of Buisness Day.... stalls were set up selling food and games... then like got ppl singing in cheeena song.... before that got some breakdancing on some rough tiled floor... the dig of the whole day was the movernpick ice cream at 2 bucks per small box... anyway.. my class washed cars... donno how many... but i oni do one... then it was the attack of the bitches... all the gals threw wet sponge at me...took their filthy rags with an unknown car detergent on it and made me wet... my shirt, hair, face, everywhere... so wet.... they destroyed my preciously styled hair... went toilet after that to wash.... then like sian sian.. so buy food.. and walk around the funfair.... fun day... after that went cafe to slack again... love the pure vanilla ice blended there... after that like sian liao.. so went to jurong point with two classmates... it was fun... had yucky food.. some green noodles thingy... then went walk walk... cannot find the puma bag i want.... i want the puma bag.............. haiz... so ex ... still saving... then went home like 7+...

friday... tutorial day again econs was fine.. didnt understand though... oh yah.. nex sat got econs test... after econs was stats IT practical... this meant that it was time to check our mails, frenster and stuff... jus do anything but stats... den go mosque... then got itab quiz.. got 85/145... so damn sucky... but i'm not to blame... they asked bout things related to IT.. those we never learn one... how to score... thank god oni 5%... or else die... anyway.. learned new subject in ITAB... we now learning microsoft access.. damn sian one... loads of theory....

so now finally its a saturday.... got chinese class in the morningquite okok... nothing much though... the chinese oral results are out... i got an 84/100... highest in class was from some freak who got 98... sicko... anyway.. after that went to meet my fren at hougang mall... was looking for a phone to put in the living room.. took like ages to look for it.. but thats normal... was oso checking out handphones, shoes, bags, cds along the way... after that went my frenz house... hmm... lets call my fren Barney... ok.. so went to barney house at 521... went there to actually revamped my blog cause barney was more of a computer literate than me... and he knew how to do blogs well as he did some of my previous blog look... so this new look was mostly created by barney... so a million gerjillionz thank yous to my blog shifu... he had to endure so much trouble even though he was kinda a bit under the weather not that the waethers been great lately.... the weather's been damn sucky... very hard to walk around when raining... anyway... so we did the blog for about 5 hrs inclusive of a lunch break... which was the lovely chicken rice courtesy of barney's mom... so finally it is beautiful and looks great... got nice song... i happy... then i go home lor.. reached home at 8... had dinner... then play com lor... btw.. for those who wanna know wad song thats playing, its MY ALL by Mariah Carey... one of my all time faves..

this was all the happenings in the week... i seriously need to buck up on studies... like seriuosly buck up... i've been lost in stats since months... and neither the tutor or the lecturer is of any help... so have to study my own.. next is econs.. very confusing.. need to actually start studying.. acounts oso... haiz.... then got CD project and CRS project due in like 4-5 weeks time... so busy...

so thats it... pls write like some comments in my tagboard about how u feel bout my newly revamped blog or the song... look forward to it.. finally i have to thank my pet unicorn, tuesday for her dedicated blogging to my site.... i'll go write ur testimonial soon.. okok... don nag me... so i think thats all... till next time... toodles....

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

hEl00 public.. been busy this few days of sch... so i'll update whenever possible... the song lyrics that i have posted is closely knitted to my emotions... thus it has meaning... it not jus songs with great tune or rhythm... they have lyrics that speak of wad i cannot express myself with... so if u wanna noe me better, discover me deeper and beg that i bare my soul... it'll be jus wishful thinkin on ur part... but i cannot suppress fully everything... thus, lucky u... hints are dropped almost everywhere... so jus search... go figure...
Reflection by Christina Aguilera (edited version)

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me

Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that guy I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that guy I see
Staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else?
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think?
How we feel?
Must there be a secret me?
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
ARTIST: Mariah Carey
ALBUM: Glitter
TITLE: Reflections


Reflections of your love
Have come to wither
I thought I'd done
My best to memorise

A picture fades of
You and I together
I haven't come to terms
With how we said goodbye

Did you really care
Care for me at all
Did you really care
Did you care for me at all

A displaced little girl
Wept years in silence
And whispered wishes
You'd materialise
She pressed on
Night and day
To keep on living
And tried to many ways
To keep her soul alive

Did you really care
Care enough for me
Did you really care
Did you care at all for meIf I'm not quite good enough
Or somehow undeserving of
A mother's love

You could have
Had the decency
To give me up
Before you gave me life

Don't you even care
Just the slightest bit for me
'Cause I really need to
Feel you cared
Even once upon
A time for me

I need to believe
In my heart of hearts
You care for me
I need to understand
Why you left me there
So helplessly

Don't you even care
Care at all for me

Reflections of your love
Have come to wither
I thought I'd done
My best to memorise

Saturday, March 06, 2004

hEl00000 public... today was a wonderful saturday... so let me update u on how wonderful my life is... today... lol...

today i went out with moi fren... this fren i noe since primary sch... so he's quite a good fren of mine... someone whom i can talk to and go out with... yay... only a measely few of my frens can be classified in this category... lol... anyway... today we went to bugis... yay... met at two... thought i was gonna be late but realised that we were on the same train only when were reaching our destination...

firstly... we walked around the first floor... then, there was this one shop that caught our attention... this shop like made customised bookmarks, keychains and handphone hanging thingy... they were made out of some metal wire... there was this man who initially i thought was physically disable for some uncanny reason... anyway... he took this wire and use a long nose plier and bend the metal wire into our name to make a bookmark, keychain and wadeva... so my fren was kinda captivated by the artwork and decided to make a bookmark since his fav past time is reading... it cost 10 bucks... but the results were worth the cost... i think... anyway... he liked it... so good for him...

next there was this exhibition on some artwork on toilet bowls being displayed... it was quite attractive... but i wouldnt wanna have any of those toilet as mine... but if i was given the chance to create one, i would have pictures of people that i don quite like... my lecture notes and test papers... i would put them in the toilet bowl... and to top it all off, i would get someone with diarhorrea to sit on it... the heading would be "its all in deep shit"... lol... anyway... so i was kinda looking for a wallet... my old wallet was kinda getting old and torn abit... so i went to the wallet shop... there i saw some wallets that tickled my fancy... unfornutaely most of them was way above my budget... so i had to settle for less than perfect... after much distraught, i found one... alas, this was a great one at a bargain price... so i got it...

after that went to seiyu to look for some clothes... didnt quite see anything that i want... so long story short, we later go arcade... the children one at seiyu there... the arcade there quite fun and cheap oso... they got this stress buster machine... its like u hit the button on which dog come out first.... so u jus hit hit and imagine thats all ur stress and ur exams and all the questions u dont understand... after that u feel better... but then u'll be left with a sore arm... lol... anyway.. went there play bishi bashi and time crisis... after that take neoprints... those sticker ones not the card... cost 3 bucks oni... quite ok la... pictures turn out damn funny.. i was looking elsewhere and my fren had a cheesy smile...

after that or before that, we go eat at delifrance... wanted to try out the seafod soup thing in the bread bowl... so tried it... quite nice... then went to the edge after that... saw a nice pouchy thingy at 77th street... u noe... its like kinda in fashion... its like a small round pouch that u hang on ur side of ur pants on the belt thingy... so kinda kool... 16 or 17 bucks... wanna get it... but still considering... so then saw this damn nice puma bag i've been eyeing... its 49 bucks... its like a handbag... u noe the guys use that kinda girly bag nowadays u see everywhere... but this one can oso be sling bag... damn cool sia... wanna get it... but sooo no money...

after that we go bugis village moi fren wanna get a sling bag... so looked around... saw this bag he kinda liked... but then realised that it was for laptop... but i was kinda kool.. but then decidde that he don wan... so i then look for clothes... after making a crucial decision, i bought 2 tshirts at bargain price... after that we tired... so go kfc.. i eat the shrooms burger... quite nice... and very cheap.. must maintain budget u noe... so eat lor.. at kfc, we were talking bout school and stuff... oh yah and yoga... something bout the lily position... don ask... lol... then we shop again.... along the way we played a game... its called talk in rhyme... we must rhyme everything we say... it was lame but fun... lol... anyway... saw nice shoes... but don have my size... darn... i hate having big feet... after that... saw nice jeans.. but don have my size... everything there was too big... so sucky... then realised that not so much money left... so decided to tone down on eyeing things... so chose a bag for my fren... it was the same design tat i have jus that his is black and mine is dirrty green... i bargain a bit oni... was abit tired... but he was happy with the price so nvm lor... anyway... then go home time cos like 8+ oredi... so he took bus... then i took mrt home...

so that was like my whole day today... very fun... hooray... i had so much fun... so like dats it for now... tmr going paternal uncle's house for family gathering... haiz... so sianz... i don really like family gathering of my paternal side... such a drag... so sch hols ending... better start on my holiday hw... lol.. so till next time... toodles...

Friday, March 05, 2004

hEl0o0o0o public... well let me jus give u a short update about my life...

well... this whole week has been the march holidays... i have promised to myself that i would spend the hols productively, either with homework or catching up on lectures which i've been lost in since the start of the year... apparently, the lazy me has taken control... and the only things i've been spending the hols on is my com and tv... sooo sianz... parents have finally subisided on thier nagging... and i am free to be let loose onto the streets once again...

so todae... i went town... it has been ages since i've been to town... as my frequesnt haunts are usually suntec, marina square, bugis... this are my fav hot spots... hehe.... marina got my para para haven... i also prefer these places as it is not soo bustling as orchard... i am a quiet person u see... i dont quite like crowds... but that doesnt mean i wouldnt squeeze into some place if they had a bargain or a sale... that would be the last place u wouldnt see me in...

anyway... went town todae with a fren.. sec sch cum poly fren... met at 4+... he was late... not me... i was early... yay.. ppl usually think i oways late for such such things... but not always.. i make the effort... but we are oni human and it cant be help sometimes... anyway.. went cd rama to see yandao... lol... after that jus walk walk at orchard... went heerens... fourskin had a sale... checked out the clothes... dan nice... got a shirt with a nice groovy design and a color that my classmates wil hate me for... muahaha... i m not gonna care... if i like it... i gettin it... anyway... saw two poly classmates at town...

so... after that like sianz sianz.. so go ps... at ps.. jus walk walk.. then play arcade... like that then 8+ liao... so decided to go home lor... after that... at amk... looked around for a nice hair color... found one nice one... gonna dye this sun night... cause sunday morning going relative house... and they are so gonna comment everytime i have a new hair color or hairstyle or smthing different... since their life are soo mundane, they turn to me for amusement or smthing... i dont really quite get along with my paternal relative... i find them jus a bunch of snobs... except for one or two...the rest do not even deserve my aknowledgement...

anyway... so like dat la my day... had quite a good time... look forward to tmr.. going out again... hooray... cant wait.. the excitement is killing me... lol... till next time... toodles...

let me leave u with a verse of Ashanti's I Know...

Dear Lord, I come to You a humble man
Asking Your forgiveness for all my sins that I've committed throughout my life
And Lord, I ask of You one more thing
Have mercy on my enemies, for they know not what they do
Of the sins the commited to you

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

hEl00 public... well since its a sch holiday i might as well update something...

well... the sch hols haven been such a great one... life hasnt been such a great one for me either... i miss sec sch... so dearly... i miss all the frenz... i miss my library... i miss my noticeboard... haiz... i jus miss life in sec sch... now life is jus too sucky... sch's ok... jus ok... frens' ok... jus ok... well maybe less than ok... i miss sec sch frenz... i miss the little circle of my cliques beside the dustbin in front of the drink stall every recess... wad was the jmd is now the planets... i miss the unity and sense of belonging of being in a class... i miss simen lourds morning assembly crap... i miss mr kwok's inspirational stories... i miss mrs lee poh lin, my english teacher... i miss mdm nora, my malay teacher... i miss ms sng, my maths and form teacher... i miss ms anne sim, my chemistry teacher... i miss mrs angela lim, my geography teacher... i miss anton kovac, my sec 4 english teacher... i miss mrs thai, my history and social studies teacher... i miss mdm wong, my lower sec form teacher... i miss mr tan, my PE teacher...i miss mr ng, my dnt teacher and my library overall in charge... i miss mrs voo, my home econs and library day teacher... i miss ms geraldine lim, my library teacher and once my sec sch teacher crush... i miss mrs pereira, the library promotion enthusiast... i miss all my librarians... i miss all 40 ppl in my class...

dear public... we tend to take things and people for granted... and when they are gone and things starts to change... we miss them... such things happen in life... everything doesnt remain the same all your life... we have to move on... that is why, we must learn to treasure wad we have and make the most of it... so, when we look back into our past in the future, all we have with us to keep are all the fond memories and only the fond memories... so treasure them while u have them...

you may seem that this update is rather different from my previous updates... this is because this update is the inner-me talking... it is not that happy, lame and cheerful guy u see all the time... ppl are never always that jovial... but u have to be happy to people and to yourself... its jus a way of life... maybe its different for you... but this is my life... and it kinda sux... so if u are rather contented in life, then good for you... but not me... i am not happy with life... i have had soo many disapointments in life and come to think of it, i have never actually accomplished anything at all...

you noe how people say that they wouldnt wanna be anybody else... and that they are happy with who they are and what they have... i envy them... countless times have i wished that i was someone else... but i have always believed that everything happens for a reason... good or bad... maybe whatever has happen in life for me is destined to happen for a reason... maybe i am destined for something better in life in the future or smthing worse... wadever it is... i have to push on and carry on... treasure wad i have... and be contented with jus the simple pleasures of life... it's hard... but i'm trying...

so jus wanna leave u all with this little poem :

MISSING YOU

Like a cold summer afternoon
Like the snow coming down in June
Like a wedding without a groom
I'm missing you

I'm the desert without the sand
I'm the one without a band
I'm a ring without a hand
I'm missing you

Sitting here thinking about you
And all the things we used to do
I never thought that i would lose you
I am missing you

Sitting here wondering
Wonderin where i went wrong
Cause now i'm here all alone
Wishing you'd come back home
why'd you have to go away
Got me missing you everyday

Your smile lights up a room
Like a candle in the dark
It warms me through and through
And i guess that i had dreamed
We would never be apart
But that dream did not come true

and now i am missing you

*********************

till next time, goodnight