hello public

theres a saying, "keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer"

my 3 main enemies in my life right now are
- pimples
- mosquitoes
- ants


and boy, no way in hell am i gonna keep my enemies anywhere close.

oh by the way, i encountered all 3 enemies during my 'wonderful' outfield sessions.


i have like a terrible major acne problem or something. no matter how much i wash my face, blot it, mosturise it, mask it or simply just dump whatever products that Loreal can make onto my face, it simply can never stay zit free.

i've tried every single pimple cream, gel or whatever watsons dishes out over their counters, but it still wont go away.

you know how you can wear a hat or a cool looking cap on bad hair day, i hope somebody comes up with something for a bad face day. probably a louis vuitton masquerade mask or something. trust me i'd be first in the queue for the premier sale.

furthermore with my national safari's quirky love affair with going outfield in the untamed jungles of singapore. and just like how you ladies cant live without the essential chanel foundation in colour #23, so do we. just that ours isnt chanel or m.a.c and it only comes in green and black.

these be damned man-rouge alias the camo cream clogs my pores and ruins my skin.


if only somebody were to reinvent it with mosturising extracts of aloe vera, vitamin e and tea tree properties, will then make me a happy handsome soldier.

urgh.

mosquitoes.


my number 2 enemy outfield.

i dont understand how so many mosquitoes can swarm me like paparazzis to paris hilton. its like whenever i step into the man made forest, the first mosquito who spots me send a mass email to every other blood sucking bitch screaming 'Lunch Has Arrived!'

and so within the next 5minutes every single penetrating prick surrounds me like i'm about to be the main slut in this fuckfest.

and boy do i get screwed left, right, front, back, well, basically anywhere possible for them to fornicate me.


last but now least


the deceivingly tiny and powerless ants. all these perverts just wanna do is crawl into your clothes and get their mouth onto my skin. since they're so small, anywhere is possible for them. trust me on this. anywhere!

probably for female soldier who go outfield, i suggest your bring in cork along and stuff it up your fanny. just in case those ants decide to get naughty.


well then, until these 3 main enemies of mine get eradicated from the western jungles that i unwillingly frequent, you definitely wont be seeing me jumping enthusiastically waiting for the next outfield exercise.


so for the time being, since my current outfield has just ended, i decided to treat myself to a little something after having to deal with my boisterous enemies. i bought myself to tubs of ben and jerries and slowly sunk into euphoria.
















i love myself, its not a sin
i cant control what happenin.


am i easy to please or what?



toodles