hello public



it's a wednesday night and as usual there's this thingy called night's off in my camp. for those of you unfamiliar with army terms, nights off refers to like having like 4-5hrs off at night to do whatever you want. you can meet up with your girlfriend, go catch a movie with your friends or probably just have a nice dinner (well, anything's definitely better than camp food) with your campmates.


i used to look forward to these nights off. i remembered hanging out at tampines mall with my bunch of campmates. sometimes if we had more time, we might go city hall or bugis. just to hang out.

but now, i dont know why but nights off doesnt seem to create that sparkle in my eye like it used to. in fact, nothing seems to do the trick anymore.

i've gotten comments that i've become quieter. mellowed down perhaps but probably a little too much. i used to enjoy weekends threading in and out of shops, looking out for whatever new things that they have to offer or just spending time with groups of friends. but my idea of an ideal weekend now would probably be reading a book at a quiet cafe. then ending it with a walk while busily licking on my ice cream cone on one hand.

i know it sounds weird. sounds very loner and anti social. but sometimes i just get irritated with everyone. all the stupid negativity. as strong as i thought i could be, i probably just overestimated my abilities.


2 months to ORD. everyone has plans, everyone is enthusiatic.

and i am lost. just floating like an unguided hot air balloon.



so this was the freedom i craved, then why am i not satisfied.


imissyou.









its been a quarter of a million years since i last blogged emo stuff. nobody reads all the shit i type in this blog anyway. and as i much as i hoped for this blog to have more viewership, it hasnt happened. i'm starting not to care anymore. why does it even matter?


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xoxo-alijoe