heloo public,

its like only 2pm now. tutorial was supposed to end at 3 but somehow we ended and hour early. but the sad thing is that i cant go home early cause there's gonna be hour seminar letter beginning at 3.10pm later regarding our attachment. well, truth be told, i'm actually really looking forward to this job attachment(itp). i've never work a real day in my life before. well, for job experience, i've helped out at the community library that my aunt works in. and oh yah, i've worked for less than a day at a telemarketing company. we had to call up ppl and ask them to come down to our company to check out offers, but i couldnt handle rejection well u see. so i quit. i didnt even get paid. sucky. i actually long how it feels like to earn your own money from scratch. countless time i've wanted to look for a job but i'm afraid that it would affect my studies in a way.

hmm. well. so now i have nothng better to do except blog... er. actually i do have stuff to do. i have like 2 projects pending which are dued next week. and for both i have yet to start them. why am i so lazy.

i have nothing to talk about today actually. but i'm really bored. i hope those of you who read this entry doesnt get bored as well. hmm. i was surfing thru the net when i chanced upon a song lyric that was somewad really apporpriate. you know, some times stuff happens in our life but we jus donno how to phrase it. but somehow we'll chance upon a nice song that totally describes how we're feeling inside. this song lyric i'm gonna show is really emo la.

I WISH YOU KNEW

I've got to see you
Wherever you are
And I've got to be there
I'm wishing on stars
I've got to reveal what's inside of my heart
But the words escape me
And I'm paralyzed
So helpless when I
Look into your eyes

And how I wish you only knew
What I feel inside for you
You probably haven't got a clue
But I wish you knew
How I love you baby
Honestly I know it's silly of me
To want you so badly

But keep it concealed
See my inferiority complex kicks in
And the words escape me
And I'm paralyzed
So helpless when I
Look into your eyes

And how I wish you only knew
What I feel inside for you
You probably haven't got a clue
But I wish you knew
How I love you baby

i wished you knew, yeah, i wished you knew.

i believe that this lyric applies to almost everyone. like at a certain time in our life we'll chance upon someone who tickles our fancy. someone that takes control of your heart. and makes u feel really nice when you are with the person. but we'd have our insecurities and we dont dare to make a move. cause from this insecurities that we have it leads to a fear of rejection. or smtimes it jus a fear that somewad the friendship you shared before wouldnt turn out as good as before. but smtimes you're left hanging on the fence whether to move forward and risk a rejection or jus to conceal wad we feel inside in hopes that everything remains the same. its a dilemma that we must solve somehow.

anyways,

well, i wanna say thank you to my sweet strawberry, jaylicious for the kisses. haha. i mean hershey's kisses. i love cookies and cream. yum.

well, i think i better get ready to go for the seminar. see yall.

with hugs and kisses(especially cookies and cream ones),
alvin hilton